A billion gazillion flavors of life

questions & answers
Photo credit: thewhitestdogalive

Lately, I’ve had to give self-descriptions to a large number of people in many different settings. Each time I have to answer the overt or implied “who are you” question, I always pause. It’s not that I don’t know who I am; it’s more that I need to consider the setting to present relevant facets. There is a slightly melancholy song from the movie version of “A Chorus Line” that runs through my head at those moments. The words go like this:

Who am I anyway?Am I my resume?

That is a picture of a person I don’t know.

What do they want from me?Who should I try to be?

I can hardly remember a situation in which I’ve given many details of who I am. Sometimes I don’t do it because of the setting, other times I don’t because of my fear of not fitting in, intimidating someone, or…what? I can’t think of a third reason, because all the reasons I can conjure are based on fear. It’s not that I’m bad or anything like that; it’s that I find it difficult to choose which facets to show someone else.

I think my favorite quote of all times is this:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination.
It is our light more than our darkness
which scares us.
We ask ourselves – who are we to be brilliant, beautiful,
talented, and fabulous.
But honestly, who are you to not be so?

Some people call me eclectic, others say I’m a renaissance woman, still others call me an overachiever. I am simultaneously none and all of those. It’s not so much that I want to overachieve as that I want to taste as many of the flavors of life as possible in my short time here. It’s kind of like going to Baskin Robbins but infinitely bigger. I’ve enjoyed so many different jobs, hobbies, friends, homes, geographic locales, and every other thing that I can consider.

I think the Creator must have given me the ultimate bucket list at birth!

Sometimes that I wonder if I’m a freak because I don’t want to live in just one place on this planet or have just one job. However, I remember that my drive to learn, experience, and enjoy all the flavors of life is a gift. The trick in receiving such a gift is recognizing it for what it is. I am grateful for all that I have “tasted” thus far, and twitching with impatience to discover more about this gift we call Life.

Most importantly, I am overwhelmed with gratitude at the people who I call friends and the very special trio — my darling husband and beautiful daughters — whom I have been given as companions for at least part of my journey. What good is discovering a billion gazillion flavors if you can’t share the joy of discovery?

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