My Insights Are Melting…

The Old World Swallowtail (Papilio machaon), i...

Freezing cold last Saturday and 90 degrees today. Who knew? Glad I had my shorts ready!

I’m preparing for two separate interviews right now and I had a massive insight about my interview journey, long and arduous as it’s been. I remember the first hiring package I sent over two years ago, and how my hands shook as I sent it. I wasn’t sure then what kind of job I wanted, only that I wanted to be in a collegial environment. From those inauspicious beginnings, I have probably applied for well over 500 positions all over the world. Literally.  I’ve interviewed with schools in Europe and Asia, in addition to a whole bunch here in the States. I’ve come in second place 10 times. I could allow that to frighten me, or I could reflect on the journey. I choose to reflect on what I’ve learned.

In the beginning:

1. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be in administration or on the faculty.

2. I wasn’t sure where I wanted to live, but I knew it had to be “somewhere else”

3.There’s a lot of “somewhere elses” out there

4. I operated under the old paradigm in which I could work tirelessly 12 hours a day

5. Anywhere was good enough, but I had to make the transition work around my job

Now:

1. I am a business and accounting instructor, and a darned good one at that!

2. The search isn’t about living and working “anywhere”; it’s got to be what’s best for all parties, including me

3. “All parties” includes my family, situated as they are on opposite coasts

4. I need to work for a place where students are valued as much as the faculty

5. I need to be in a place where I’m not just making a living, struggling paycheck to paycheck

6. I need trees, hills, greenery, water, and LIFE all around me

7. By “all around me,” I don’t mean that my bedroom window looks into my neighbor’s bathroom or living room (which has been the case for the last 9 years). Space is good.

8. I need to be where I can follow my passion for teaching the people who need it most: in the classroom, in an area where people tend to be underserved

Sounds like a lot, but that’s a two-plus year set of revelations distilled into a series of insights. The cool part is that I now really know who I am, what I’m meant to be, and how much everyone else I love factors into this choice. It’s also about spiritual alignment with the creator-spirit that reaches out to other people through me, and my yoga practice has certainly facilitated that.

I’m a preparing for these interviews, completing the work that has been given to me, and leaving the “how will this come to pass?” in God’s hands.

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One thought on “My Insights Are Melting…

  1. These are all such lovely reflections. I love how you have used this time for clarity. It’s so easy to become frustrated when we find ourselves in “second place.” What a lesson to us all to take those in between times as a pathway to being certain of what we really want. I am certain that your perfect job match is right around the corner. 🙂

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