Saturday night ruminations

Memphrémagog Regional County Municipality, Quebec

The proverbial honeymoon period of the move is over: I just paid my first set of utility bills. I still really love this place, so that’s a good sign. My family is happier than they have ever been, and I’m very relieved with that knowledge.

My mom and I were talking this past week, and she mentioned in passing that the dog seems to be moping. I’m not sure why, but that hit me like a lead weight. I’m not a dog person, but little Sophie wiggled her way into my heart like no other dog has. I miss her terribly and wish there was a way to bridge the gap of 3000 miles between us. Not that I don’t miss my parents and family — certainly not! — but the thought of them licking my nose and playing tug on the floor is…ewww….

I’m still getting used to the idea that I live in Vermont. Maybe it’s a product of getting older, but I wake up nearly every morning a little disoriented about where I live. It doesn’t help that my dreams have been very weird lately, which leaves me unsettled when I awake. The house is becoming familiar enough to walk around in the dark without tripping over things, but the geographic location still somehow surprises me. I’m not sure why. I don’t even have any “maybe it’s this” to try and explain it. It feels like home, but whenever I consider that I live (almost literally) on the border between Vermont and New Hampshire and that we travel across the border without a though about once a week, it kind of blows my mind.

However, my students are relaxing around me, and we are genuinely having fun in classes. I had my first real belly laugh in class yesterday, when I assigned students to think of an innovative business. The students were having great fun, learning, enthusiastic, and joyful. That’s why I love teaching: I get paid to play with people. In this midst of this past week, I was contacted about a different full-time job that would pay more, but I would be working from home and not interacting with these people for whom I have developed a growing affection. I declined the offer because I knew that I was meant to be precisely where I have been placed, teaching my lovely disabled students who need me so desperately.

I think I need them and all the people who have come into my life recently just as much. One day, my subconscious mind will catch up.

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