The edge of summer– really?

This new land is different from anything I’ve experienced. Spring has been slow in arriving. As I looked outside my kitchen window this evening, I noticed the flowers finally blooming in their bright pinks, yellows, and whites. The trees are heavy with blossoms. The lawn is liberally dotted with purple and yellow wildflowers. Gone is the ice and snow that we thought would never leave only two months ago. Early this morning, I awoke to the sight and sound of lovely thunderstorms. I donned a new short-Spring pansiessleeved shirt to greet the 77-degree weather.

Lovely. Simply lovely.

Since I became a mother, my experience of mother’s day has included surprisingly hot days. Always humid, sticky, stuffy — a preview of the warm days that followed shortly in its wake. Tomorrow’s forecast here is 72 degrees, which happens to be one of my favorite temperatures. The hand-chosen floral bouquet that I’m not supposed to notice is in a vase in our living room.

Again: lovely. Truly lovely.

I’m on the edge off a number of experiences that are new in my world. My final day of lectures for the semester was yesterday and the finals will conclude by Wednesday evening.  After that, aside from meetings and some planning, I am free until August 27. This will be the first summer that I will not be working (but will still be paid regularly) since high school. It probably sounds weird, but I’m actually a little anxious about not having to work while being paid. My colleagues have assured me that this is the way of academia, though.

I won’t deny that I need the break. I’m feeling ragged around the edges.

The next experience that’s new will be my conference debut this week. The publisher of my new textbook is flying me and my co-author to New Orleans to promote our book. The list of other presenters reads like the who’s who of collegiate accounting: authors whose books I have used, writers whose articles I have read, etc. And I get to join their ranks as another collegiate accounting expert.

I’m nervous but excited. All kinds of “What ifs” keep running through my mind. At I get to spend time with one of my close friends who also happens to be my co-author.

Then I got a call from m brother this evening. His physical condition has caused him to decide to relinquish his beloved kitty. I am very concerned about his well-being, especially since he has finally admitted that he is depressed. Not the “sort of blue” depressed. From what I’ve witnessed and heard this evening, it’s the capital D depression that will require counseling and, potentially, medication– if he accepts the diagnosis and welcomes the help with an open mind.

I truly hope he does.

Part of me feels awful for not being with my family in person. But I know that I need to be exactly where I am, not just for me but for my immediate family. Each of them are thriving in their own ways. I am enjoying more professional success than I ever have before. This place, this state, my job, my husband and children — everything — brings me peace. I can think clearly. It’s obvious that I must be in this precise place for whatever the Creator needs me to do.

Now I have to learn to live this new life. Metaphorically, summer is here: time for relaxation, renewal, and exploration.

Am I ready for this? Blue butterfly

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